A Day Four Years in the Making

 

My friend Eva and I walked together at Commencement. Very appropriate because she was the first friend I made at UNH.

Gnarlz gives high-fives to Seniors as they begin to walk onto the field for the ceremony.

After the ceremony-- the graduate!

Seven

Seven Things that Scare Me:

• Plane rides
• Big changes
• Deep water
• Heights
• Being alone
• Popping balloons
• Dangerous behavior

Seven Things I Like:

• Tea
• Chocolate
• Animals
• Gardening
• Sewing
• Organizing
• Adventuring

Seven Random Facts About Me:

• I have a tendency to be allergic to perfumes, soaps, plants, lotions, chemicals, and other things that touch my skin.
• One of my favorite things to do is sing. I have been performing in choirs, musicals, and school showcases since I was a toddler.
• Before the 2008 presidential election, I personally met and shook hands with every major Democratic candidate (benefits of living in New Hampshire!)
• I have been to Europe twice in my 22 years. When I was six weeks old, my mom took me to Switzerland on a business trip. When I was 17, I traveled to France with my school.
• I love to do genealogical research. Since beginning my research in 2006, I have added nearly 2,000 people to my family tree.
• There are many things that I like to collect. Most people only have one or two collections, but I have dozens. I love seaglass, heart-shaped stones, tea paraphernalia, pottery sherds, antique cookbooks, vintage sewing materials, paper cranes, houseplants, campaign buttons, etc.
• I spent a summer working at a Boy Scout camp in the equestrian program. There were 12 horses that we trained, cared for, and used for lessons.

Seven Things I want to Do Before I Die:

• Travel to my ancestral homelands: Germany, Poland, Slovenia, Austria, England, and Ireland
• Own a self-sustaining farm
• Live beside the Atlantic Ocean
• Get married to someone I adore
• Have children
• Become a well-known expert on experiential history
• Make a significantly positive impact on the world around me

Seven Things I Can Do Well:

• Sew
• Bake
• Cook
• Sing
• Write
• Care for others
• Love

Seven Things I Can't Do But Wish I Could:

• Play an instrument really well
• Be an Olympic athlete
• Live in Narnia
• Pay off all my student loans
• Apparate & Disapparate
• Marry Josh Groban ;-)
• Become a celebrated singer & appear on Broadway

Seven Phrases I'm Known to Use:

• "Good grief."
• "What on God's green earth...?"
• "Holy Moley!"
• "FALSE!"
• "Whaaaaattttt....?"
• "Let's roll."
• "Gee whiz."
  

A Little Update

The past week has been a flurry of activity, emotion, and decision-making. So I guess it's time I update everyone what has been happening in my life.

1. My senior Honors thesis has been submitted for review. The next step is defending it against a committee. Considering I have worked on this process for nearly a year and a half, I'm not terribly concerned about the defense. If you are interested in reading my work to date, take a look at the site that I've created:  http://foresttofreshet.blogspot.com/
 

This is a Skymall image, but I like to think it was meant for me.

2. Tomorrow I will be inducted to Phi Beta Kappa, the oldest honor society in America. I was also inducted to Pi Delta Phi, the French honor society, on Tuesday.

3. Two weeks from tomorrow I will be graduating from college with a Bachelor of Arts degree in History! Yikes!

4. I have officially decided to attend George Washington University for my graduate program. However, I found out that if I defer from GWU for a year to work and live at home, I will be able to cut my potential loans in half. That's a difference of $40,000 in loans, folks. So, instead of rushing off to Washington, D.C. in June, I will be headed back to my hometown for a year to get myself on solid ground.

5. I've been very fragile lately, but with the help of my family, friends and mentors, I know that I can make it to the finish line. I've come so far in the past four years that even the biggest obstacles should seem small, but somehow I still get upset. I'm hurting in so many ways right now-- but I'm also rejoicing at the opportunities that are before me. Transitions and endings are difficult to say the least, but they are also a time of celebration and rebirth. It's up to me to keep focusing on the positive.

Adventuring

One of the best ways for me to internalize events, explore my thoughts, express my emotions, and spend some time with myself is to go adventuring.

When I was little, adventuring meant scrambling over rocks and between branches in the little patch of trees behind our garage. My dad called it the "Hundred Acre Wood" just like the forest in Winnie the Pooh. As I got older, adventuring became bike rides all over town, and hiking in the town forest with my friends. When I got to college, I found that adventuring was the perfect way to leave behind the stress of classes, homework, and social anxiety. I walked and biked miles of trails and roadways, discovering the most beautiful and tranquil places to sit and think.

I have experienced almost divine serenity in these places. Before I graduate, (in less than a month now) I feel that I must share with the world those wonderful spaces which helped me through my four years at school.

This may come as a shock, but...

With all the political uproar surrounding human rights in America, I feel that I must make myself clear about my personal beliefs. Firstly:

I identify as a Christian. But I do not subscribe to a specific sect of Christianity because I find that Christian philosophy is just one aspect of my spiritual self. I do not believe that Christianity is the "one true religion" or the "only way to salvation", because I think that truth reveals itself to each person in a different way. For instance, I find truth in the life and teachings of Jesus Christ. But I also find truth in the words of Martin Luther King Jr., the wisdom of the Buddha, and the Zodiac. My faith and spirituality are my own. No one should be able to tell me if my soul is "saved" or not, because ultimately the God which I believe in is the judge of my soul. I do not condemn others, even if they do not share my faith. Jesus taught the Golden Rule-- to love others as you love yourself. This rule translates across all faiths, cultures, and beliefs.

I identify as a political Liberal. It is a source of constant amazement to me that people believe Christianity and Liberalism to be mutually exclusive. I believe in fair and equal opportunity for all people. Isn't that what Jesus wanted as well? He taught His followers to pray for God's "kingdom [to] come, [His] will be done on earth as it is in heaven." How are we to create a heavenly kingdom on earth if we cannot treat each other with respect and love? Humans are humans no matter their sex, age, gender, race, culture, faith, class, ability, sexual orientation, or interests. Limiting human rights should not be the role of anyone, much less a government which bases its existence on premises of liberty.

Despite my strong self-identification as both a Christian and a Liberal, I do not believe that a person should be classified by one identity or another. Therefore, I have listed the many other complex things by which I am identified. Keep in mind that any one of these things cannot fully describe who I am, so look at me in the entirety of my personal identities.

I am:

• a feminist
• a woman
• the descendent of immigrants
• an American
• a student
• a nurturer
• an historian
• a seamstress
• a gardener
• a lover of nature
• a sister
• a daughter
• a niece
• a granddaughter
• a friend
• silly
• clumsy
• feminine
• educated
• intelligent
• a musician
• and so much more! 

So when you speak or act, think about how it will affect other people and their happiness, instead of how it will affect your personal identities and happiness.

The Blessing of Opportunity

So it's a fact: I'm going to be a graduate student. Where will I be? I haven't a clue yet. But I have been officially accepted into three of the four programs to which I applied, including the Museum Education program at George Washington University. To be honest, I think that this program was always in the back of my mind when I imagined continuing my education. At the time, I didn't know how difficult it was to be accepted, but I later learned that although thousands of hopefuls apply, only fourteen are selected. I feel extremely blessed to have been given this opportunity--all these opportunities--no matter what decision I make in the coming weeks.

I once read that only 1% of the world's population is privileged enough to receive a secondary education. Although I wish the numbers were different and that everyone could further their education if they chose it, I recognize that I am one of those privileged few. To think that I am a woman pursuing a Master's degree is baffling when I compare my life with the lives of American women 100 years ago, or women in some societies even today! I am indeed very blessed.

(Also, I couldn't resist throwing in this picture of me wearing my rustic orange dress. I made it in January by altering a 1950's pattern, and I love how swingy it is when I dance. I believe credit for this picture goes to my dear friend Alexa.)

Spring is Here...and HOW!

Let it be known that today, March 22nd 2012, I spent an 85 degree day at the ocean. I dipped my feet in the frigid waters of the Atlantic, sat on the rocks, basked in the sun, collected trinkets at the beach, and gained a few dozen freckles. It was glorious.

The past week has been absolutely gorgeous-- and I don't mean that in the sense that I usually do at this time of year. Once upon a time, I considered 45 degrees and sunny to be the mildest March weather. In a traditional New Hampshire spring, a 45 degree day is rare, and one can generally count on a Nor'easter to sweep the region in the days following. But this week has been the warmest on record; five consecutive days of sun, blue skies, and temperatures above 75 degrees.

In many ways, I am taking the events of this week as a sign from the heavens. On Monday, I had a long talk with God. Since October, I have been an emotional wreck. I haven't allowed myself to be truly happy or appreciative of the blessings around me, and I've fallen away from the confidence and happiness that I have spent the past four years creating for myself.

Much of this emotional unrest has had to do with a relationship that I fell into at the beginning of the fall. In December, all that I had invested in this relationship-- my love, care, time, trust, expectations, physical and spiritual being, personal standards, happy moments, heartfelt discussions, and shared experiences-- was ripped away. I felt shipwrecked, trying to cling to one of these things to stay afloat as dark waves crashed over me. But collecting splintered wood will not help to restore the majesty of the ship.

As the weeks and months went on I tried to keep life in the relationship, even as friends. I am not the sort of person who will push people out of my life. I try as hard as I can to maintain contact and good feelings with others, and the months following our breakup were no different. My friends told me that I had every right to be angry at him--- he was the one who dumped me, after all-- but I still thought that kindness, interest, and friendly outreach would help us both to move on. After too many nights of frustrating conversations, lukewarm interactions, and angry tears, I asked God to show me what He wanted me to see in this situation.

Since my Monday conversation with God, I have been feeling lighter, clearer, and warmer. I have been able to let go of the feelings that have gripped my heart and soul for the past four months. It will take a long time before I can completely move on from this, but God has shown me what He wants me to focus on right now: my future.

The future can be so unclear sometimes. When you're young it looms ahead of you on the path of life, making every step toward it seem like a great burden. Sometimes it looks green and bright, like a beautiful spring day inviting you to run toward it and bask in its glory. Other times it can act like a fat black thundercloud threatening to block out the sun. The funny thing about it is that as long as you walk, and as many steps as you take, you never really get any closer. New experiences wait for you along the path, and sometimes you gather new friends as you walk along.

This week, God has revealed the future as a beautiful spring day. His reminders to me have been in the clear blue skies, the new green grass, the timid purple flowers, the cool and caressing breeze, and the warm sunshine on my skin. My future will be clear, bright, and happy.