Happy Valentine's Day!

I know a lot of people who are bitter about Valentine's Day. Personally, I see no reason to be bitter or unhappy. Even if you don't have a sweetheart, a bouquet of roses, or a night on the town, you must realize that love doesn't just come from a significant other. There are dozens, perhaps hundreds, of people who love you and think about you on a daily basis. Why expect them to go out of their way to please you on a single day?

Instead of bitterness, regret, and self-pity, try thinking about your parents, siblings, cousins, pets, friends, teachers, mentors, and all the other people in your life who have had an effect on your life. My life is filled with the love of family, friends, and of my God. I choose to make Valentine's Day a celebration of all my relationships, and I encourage others to do the same. Broaden your outlook and you'll find that love is all around you!

The Year in Review

 1. What was the single best thing that happened this past year?
Completing my senior Honors thesis in history and graduating Magna Cum Laude from my alma mater!

2. What was the single most challenging thing that happened?
Continuing to overcome disappointment in myself after a difficult breakup. I've found that the period after the end of a relationship is much like a period of mourning for me. I am filled with grief at losing someone I loved and respected, disappointment in my thoughts and actions, insecurity about myself, anger at the situation, and resentment that I entered into the relationship to begin with. It takes a long time for me to heal-- a year, give or take-- but I always learn and grow from the experience.

3. What was an unexpected joy this past year?
Gaining admission to the graduate program of my dreams! My GRE scores, a number of professors, and even some family members told me not to get my hopes up, but I just knew when I opened that email that I had been blessed! I am one of 13 students admitted to the class of 2013.

4. What was an unexpected obstacle?
Finding out just a few months before graduation that I would not be allowed to graduate with University Honors. I had struggled for nearly four years to complete requirements for the Honors Program, and after some misinformation in my final semester, I decided that the program was not worth the stress. I still graduated with multiple honors, because I was able to use the energy I had once spent on fighting the Honors Program to finish my senior year with a bang.

5. Pick three words to describe 2012.
Challenging, rewarding, revitalizing.

6. Pick three words your best friend would use to describe you in 2012.
 Silly, adorable, busy.

7. Pick three words your best friend would use to describe their 2012.
Stressful, fun, educational.

8. What were the best books you read this year?
Well, as I was cleaning out our attic over the summer, I found my grandmother's Bible in an old box. She passed away when my dad was in college, so I never got to meet her, but it's been a neat experience to hold something that was once dear to her. In my continued effort to read the Bible from cover to cover, I began reading this precious edition and found surprises inside! In the book of Zechariah, I found a bookmark with a prayer on it, and pressed between the pages of Matthew, a four-leaf clover has been preserved for almost 40 years!

In other news, I read (and re-read) some excellent literature, such as Pride and Prejudice, Dances with Wolves, Little Dorritt, and Game of Thrones.

9. With whom were your most valuable relationships?
My friends from school were wonderful this year. I valued each relationship differently because they each contributed something unique to my life. My friend Kelsey always makes me laugh, and is the best person to play boardgames and watch movies with. My friend Annie gives the most comforting hugs, and was always there to talk me through a tough time. Brittney is an inspiration to me-- the way she juggles graduate school, a full-time job, and a social life is amazing. Lily and Katie provide me with a lovely vacation home when I need to escape for a few days, and it's always a blast to venture to the big city with them. Grace listens to me and prays for me when I most need it, and is always ready for a lively debate about history. Alexa, Jillian, Zeb, Victoria, Leslie, Will, Brett, and all the rest of my Hubbardians kept me motivated to be the best student and role model I could be.

10. What was your biggest personal change from January to December of this past year?
Moving home from Hubbard after graduation was one of the biggest adjustments I've ever had to make. From the moment I moved in to my residence hall as a freshman, I was in love with the community. Hubbard is full of hard-working, sensible, motivated, and caring individuals, and I loved every moment of my time as there. Leaving it all behind in May was bittersweet. I knew that even though I would no longer be involved in the Hubbard community, the residents that I loved would continue to make it the best dorm on campus.

11. In what way(s) did you grow emotionally?
In early fall, I was feeling sorry for myself because all my friends had gone back to school or were living far away from me. I kept thinking how isolated my little town was, and how desperate I was for company.Then I realized that in just a few months, I would be embarking on the adventure of a lifetime. Since that realization, I have been cheerful, excited, and ambitious. My future awaits and I plan to make the best of it!

12. In what way(s) did you grow spiritually?
Around the same time as my emotional epiphany, I heard a song on the radio that I had not heard before. It was "Forgiveness," by Matthew West, and it spoke to my heart in a way that prayer, scripture, and worship had not done in a long time. I suddenly was reminded that God forgave my sins through His Son, and that in my quest to live like Jesus, I must also forgive those who have hurt me. After a night of many tears and prayers, I finally let go of the painful and shaming memories that had burdened me for a year or more.

13. In what way(s) did you grow physically?
I started running again over the summer, and in the past few months I have found a real desire to spend time outdoors. Of course, it is difficult to make it a daily occurrence in rural New Hampshire, with the unpredictable New England weather, but I do my best! I also read a book called The Yoga Body Diet, which helped me to profile my eating and exercise tendencies. It isn't a "diet" in the strict, depriving sense of the word, but rather a change in the way you eat and digest.

14. In what way(s) did you grow in your relationships with others?
I think that in some ways I became more effective at communicating my emotions. I tend to conceal my sadness or anger so as not to seem abrasive. But too many times I have waited for someone to comfort me, only to result in the frustration of both parties. Numerous times in 2012 I found myself in a difficult situation, and by acting on the emotional charge of the moment I was able to find a productive outlet that could be more easily communicated to others.

15. What was the most enjoyable part of your work (both professionally and at home)?
Working with children is an amazing experience, because it requires me to live what I teach. In 2012, I had so many opportunities to be a role model for the children in my community! I was a summer camp director, substitute teacher, and playgroup assistant. Each position varied in depth and duration, but I like to think that my involvement in the daily lives of the kids I work with has made a positive impression.

16. What was the most challenging part of your work (both professionally and at home)?
Being the bad guy. I don't like to be "the mean counselor" or "the strict teacher". It is tough to say "no" and stick with it. But I have high expectations for others, and I think that setting boundaries in school, camp, or playgroup, is the best way to ensure safety and respect for everyone.

17. What was your single biggest time waster in your life this past year?
Pinterest. Hands down. I don't necessarily think it is a waste of time, but when I consider all the mending or extra cleaning that I could have accomplished in the 15 minutes before dinner, it is definitely a time sucker.

18. What was the best way you used your time this past year?
Hehehe. I discovered that ironing and sewing while catching up on BBC dramas is not only an effective use of time, but it is a motivator for me to finish projects! If I have something really juicy to watch, like Little Dorritt or Sense and Sensibility, I am more likely to set aside the time to sew.

19. What was biggest thing you learned this past year?
I learned that sometimes the most coveted treasure is not worth the price. Sometimes, the thing you think you want most, is the thing that you cannot have. And while bemoaning your bad luck, you'll find unexpected blessings in the least obvious places.

20. Create a phrase or statement that describes 2012 for you.
"Keep going. Even on the foggiest day, you must believe in your own ability to navigate the road ahead."

Quick Update: Prepping for the GGSE

In 6 months or less, I will be leaving for the Great Graduate School Experiment. In the meantime, I have been whittling away at my abundance of free time. Here are some tidbits about my life since I last posted.

Work

-Traveled to Las Vegas for a trade show with my mom's company. It was a blast seeing the lights and action of Vegas, and I really liked working at the show!

-Finally everything is in line for me to become a substitute teacher in the local school district. I have desperately missed working with children, and I'm excited to be able to serve my community in a new way! My first scheduled teaching position is the last week of October, but perhaps I'll find a few other opportunities along the way.

-The daughter of a family friend swims six days a week, and I've been helping to transport her to and from her swim practices. It's a blessing to help out a friend, and spending so much time driving also allows me to take in the beauty of fall in New England.

-November vacation camp with the recreation department is all ready to go. My co-camp director and I are so excited to be offering a two-day camp exploring the origins of Thanksgiving-- including a trip to Plimoth Plantation in Massachusetts (my future dream job)!

-Still working to get my seamstress business off the ground. Some of my work was on display at the town library between August and October, and my dresses in particular were given a lot of attention. I have made plans to attend a few local craft fairs and markets, and hopefully will be selling some items before Christmas. Look for the Rainy Day Seamstress near you.

-I met and played with some of the children in that I hope to be spending time with come February. The kids are all part of an early childhood program at our local community center, and when my friend Lisa goes on maternity leave in a few months, I will be taking her place for a few weeks.

-Since August, I've been housekeeping for my parents-- cleaning the house top to bottom every week. It's a tough job because as soon as I've vacuumed the dog starts scratching, the cat sheds, the bird molts, and I have to get rid of the dust and grime all over again. But I actually like to clean and organize, so it gives me an opportunity to rid myself of excess compusivity.

-After speaking with the president of the local historical society, I have been given the opportunity to join the board and work with the society on a number of projects. It will be a wonderful chance to work in my field during my year at home.

Play

-In September I had the opportunity to visit some dear friends around the state. I will also be visiting UNH for homecoming this weekend. Hopefully I will be able to see a number of my school friends while I am on the other side of the state.

-I've been working hard to train my little Ollie bird. Since he came to live with us a little over a year ago, Ollie has been a bit wild. Unlike any other bird we've owned, Ollie would eat no "people food", would not perch on a finger, and did not talk or whistle. During the summer I spent hours talking to him, feeding him garden vegetables, and handling him on a regular basis. Within the last month, he has become (almost) a normal bird. He talks endlessly in my voice, scavenges for breakfast cereal and carrots, and will come out of his cage with hardly a squawk. Despite my family telling me that I'll end up a crazy bird lady, I'm very proud of all the work we've accomplished ;-)

-In my really free time, I have been sewing and/or plotting to sew all kinds of projects. It's just about time to think about Christmas, and I'm feeling prepared for the first time in years. Of course, part of that is that I don't have to take any exams or research any theses for the first time in my life, but still, it's nice to feel like I've got a grip on something.

-Although it's been dreary and grey for the past two weeks, I've taken every opportunity to work in the garden. We haven't got much left, but it makes me feel better to know that my beds and compost will be in good shape for the winter. Considering that I won't have much of an opportunity to garden in DC, I'm hoping that all the houseplants I've been repotting will be able to survive the big move. Most of our houseplants live on the porch during the summer, but I'm slowly collecting them in my room again as the cold nights settle in.

-I'm also spending a lot of time in the kitchen copying family recipes into my new recipe book, trying out said recipes, and preserving whatever has come my way. So far I've put up 12 pints mint jelly, 12 pints plum jelly, 26 quarts dill pickles, 3 quarts pickled zucchini, 6 quarts applesauce, and countless dried veggies, fruits, herbs and tea ingredients. I'm still planning on another 6 quarts applesauce tomorrow.

Wow. That's a long "quick" update. I'll stop now and leave the rest for another day.

Quick Update

Since the end of summer camp, my schedule has been somewhat less regular. It has taken me a few weeks to get into the swing of things. Hopefully I'll return to posting on a regular basis soon, but in the meantime, here are some of the things that I've been up to:

A good friend from school was encamped with her French and Indian reenacting group a few towns away from me. I joined her for a day of campfires, folk dancing, and 18th century bliss.

I have been sewing like mad once again. In addition to my own projects, I have also begun a little service for those in town who need a seamstress. So far, it is going well.

Harvest time in the garden! At least 8 lbs of potatoes in this basket.

My sister joined me for an evening concert in the park near our house. A few days later, she left for a semester studying in Spain!

Pickling time! 12 quarts of Kosher dill pickles in one day. Phew.

Pickles and jelly make for a very productive day.

After months apart, I was reunited with two of my best friends from school. We enjoyed a weekend complete with Ethiopian cuisine, a swing dance outside of Boston, pedicures, and an afternoon at the seacoast.

Looking forward to another few weeks of lovely adventures!

Sunday Sentiment: Summertime Adventures

June 16: My cousin invited me to sing the closing song at her wedding. It was a very emotional event, as her father (my Uncle Dan) passed away in late March. It was also my debut performance singing for people outside of my friends and immediate family.

July 4: A dear friend invited me to join him in Boston for Independence Day. We enjoyed the city all afternoon, and in the evening we attended the Boston Pops Fireworks Spectacular.

Halfway through the performance, a lightening storm caused the forced evacuation of the Esplanade. 15,000 people were evacuated into the Storro Drive tunnel in Boston. After 25 minutes we were allowed back out, at which point the Boston Pops played their signature piece "Stars and Stripes Forever". Confetti rained down on us, and the fireworks began.

During the lightening storm and evacuation, the rain held off. As soon as the fireworks started, it DOWNPOURED. But it was a blast (literally)!

July 14: A picnic in Prescott Park along the Piscataqua River with some friends from college. We called it a "reunion" because some of us had since graduated, but I prefer to think of it as the first of many friendly gatherings. Each contingent brought something to add to the feast. I came with my own lettuce, local tomatoes & zucchini, homemade garlic vinaigrette, fresh oatmeal bread, homemade peach-plum jam, and grapes.

All in all, it's been a pretty fabulously eventful summer so far.

Sunday Sentiment

 Yesterday, our family suffered a great loss. The youngest son of a family friend tragically passed away in a swimming accident. He was just 24, but had already lived a full and adventurous life. Although he grew up in a different state and we didn't get to see him very often, I thought of him almost as a distant older brother. Every year at Easter, he and his brother would join us in our egg hunt. After he and his family moved away, we only saw him once or twice a year-- at Christmas or Easter. Once, when I was seven or eight years old, we visited his new house in Vermont. We went to a play, and I rode with him and his brother on the way there. They told me that every time you passed a graveyard, you had to hold your breath until it was out of sight or the dead people would come after you. I think I believed that story until I was eleven or twelve years old. I remember he liked to collect camels figurines when he was young, and I saw his collection once. I wish I had gotten to know him better as I got older, because I so enjoyed hearing about his exploits and adventures in college and beyond. I last saw him in 2009 at the joyful occasion of his graduation from college. I hope that as his family and friends mourn the loss of him in this life, his gentle soul will continue to live on and comfort them until they meet again.

Strike a Pose...for Recycled Fashion Night!

And so begins my Senior year. Have I mentioned lately that I love college?

Deep Thought

In the past few days I've had the opportunity to talk with a few of my friends about the future, and what I want to do after I graduate 13 months from now (gulp)!

It's interesting, because until very recently, I haven't had many friends that I felt I could share my religious convictions and spiritual thoughts with, but suddenly I find myself surrounded by Christians who encourage and challenge me. Last Friday my friend Grace came to share her testimony with me, and after we discussed it and cried a little, we had a very deep conversation about relationships, love, purity, and family. Since 2009 I have felt particularly skittish about relationships, because the one time that I entered into an "official" relationship, I wasn't treated with respect. The entire ordeal lasted only three months, but the entire experience of being put-down, patronized, dismissed, and somewhat offended, has weighed on me heavily for nearly two years.

If someone gave me the chance now to undo what happened in 2009, I would be tempted to take the opportunity-- but then I never would have become closer to God. It was during that relationship that I prayed to God for direction, because the boy I was dating was very adamant that religion should not be a part of his life or mine. Having been raised in a Christian home, but only truly accepting Christ as my Lord and Savior during my first year in college, I was still impressionable and easily swayed. In the end, it was God that spoke to my heart saying that this was not the right place for me. My recovery took a long time, but I turned to God for support more than I ever had before, and my relationship with Him became so much stronger and more personal.

Now, after all this time feeling that I was the only Christian in a sea of people, God has revealed to me how His grace is to be seen everywhere. For one thing, He reunited me with my childhood friend Grace. Grace is a devout and enthusiastic woman of God, and her journey in faith led her path to cross mine again when she moved into a dorm room down the hall from me at the beginning of the semester. Grace is involved in many Christian-based activities around campus, and has been encouraging me to attend events and meetings with her, as well as take the time to pray out loud with each other.

The Lord has also reintroduced me to a boy whom I have known since my freshman year in college. This young man has much in common with me, and in the past three years we have often found ourselves joining the same groups, holding the same jobs, and meeting the same friends. Suddenly this semester, God saw fit to open our hearts to each other even more. We have been attending church together with some friends for a few months now, joining each other for meals, praying together, and somehow we came up with the idea to have "movie nights" every so often. Two weeks ago we watched "Singin' In the Rain" with some other residents of our dorm, and last weekend we watched "The Princess Bride".

"The Princess Bride" was not really his ideal movie (although I thought the swashbuckling adventure would have been enough to win him...), but it was really what happened after the movie that made the "movie night" most enjoyable. There was a concert on campus, so most people were out and about, and we had the downstairs lounge to ourselves. This was fine, because we were sharing our "war stories" of the Resident Assistant job, and talking about some issues that had recently come up in his staff meeting. The conversation gently diverged from the topic of social justice in college to our personal beliefs, and the beliefs of our families. From there we talked about faith, church, and how we came to be who we were. Eventually, we discussed the terrifying idea of "the real world" which looms ever nearer. I remember expressing my dismay at the prospects of settling into a career that I did not love, and in response he said something that has stayed with me. He said that while getting a job was important, and getting a job that you enjoyed was preferable, those were not the things that mattered most in life. For him, relationships with others, love, marriage, and eventually children were the things that would color his life.

The more I think about that statement, the more I fall in love with that idea. If it in God's plan for my life to find a job that I am completely satisfied with, He will make it happen. But it is more important to God that I grow up to become a godly woman, a good Christian, and a follower of His Word than anything else.

Swing!

Last night we had a Spring Fling swing dance in the dorm. It was such a blast! Normally we have only a few girls and men who are all regular swing dancers, but this particular dance yielded quite a few new faces, as well as helped me to get to know others in a much more intimate way. I like to refer to the swing dancers of my generation as the "counterculture" of our school, and after seeing these pictures, I'm sure you'll see why!


The first is a photo of us playing "The Charleston Game", and the second is a silly picture that my dear friend Jason and I posed for to imitate the ladies modeling my dress on the pattern envelope. (Yes, this is the new swing dancing dress that I made with my new sewing machine over spring break!) My friends Jillian and Alexa also made their dresses from vintage patterns, so we were really playing up the retro look last night :-)

Birthday!

So I'm finally 21. I had a wonderful birthday full of family, friends, and surprises! For the past few years I haven't been able to go home for my birthday due to previous obligations, but I finally had my chance. It was wonderful. There was a big dinner with all of our family friends, and we served spaghetti with Cincinnati chili, homemade baguettes, and vanilla cake with four layers of whipped toffee frosting. And if an entire weekend with my favorite people wasn't enough, my family surprised me with my very own sewing machine! What a wonderful way to celebrate my twenty-first year.

Music of My Soul

Over Winter Break, my momma, sister, and I took a brief trip to visit my uncle in New York. He lives about 15 minutes outside of the city and often has meetings at the Ralph Lauren offices downtown, so we take advantage of these opportunities to ride in with him. On this particular trip, Uncle dropped us off in the morning, and we took the commuter rail back home that night. During our visit we attended a Broadway show called "Memphis" which has lately become my absolute favorite musical! I am the sort of person that can listen to the same song for hours, and never become tired of it if I like it enough. Unfortunately for my family, I did just this for days and days at a time after seeing "Memphis".

I have such a deep passion and appreciation for music that I often wonder how in the world I would be able to live without it. Many of my friends have very limited taste in music, or no interest in it whatsoever. I attribute much of my love of music to the broad variety that my daddie exposed me to while I was growing up. My parents often tell me that my first full phrases were interpretations of Beatles songs ("I've got a Ticket to Ride," to be specific) and that by the time I was four, I had memorized the words to "Oklahoma", "Hair", "The Music Man", Billy Joel's earliest records, and many Joanie Mitchell songs. Looking back now, I am not sure that many of those lyrics were appropriate for a preschooler to be singing at the top of her lungs... but there it is. Music has been, and always will be a part of me. There is a song that I am reminded of when I think of my relationship to music. Here it is sung by Amanda Seyfried in the movie version of "Mamma Mia".

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rZnBI8j_6JI

On Monday night, I sang solo for an audience for the first time in about three years. I was a wreck, but it was exhilarating. I was accompanied by three very talented young men; all of whom I have become great friends with in the past year. It has been wonderful to have the opportunity to express myself the way that God intended me to, and I very much look forward to performing with them again.

Valentine Love

Here are some photos of this lovely Valentine's Day. The box is full of handmade and non-handmade Valentines for my dear friends at school. I always feel that something handmade or handwritten is much more personal than something bought at a store, so I made each Valentine as unique as the friend I gave it to.

Tonight in the dorm we are going to have what we call a "Stoplight Party." I'm excited because it has been a sort of running joke since my freshman year in Hall Council that we would host this "mixer" type of party, but at the same time I feel that it could be a little awkward. Each person attending the party must wear a certain color to reflect their relationship status. Wear green if you're single, red if you're in a relationship, or yellow if it's complicated. Stoplight colors, right? The only hitch is that my dorm is the honors designated residence hall, and we tend to have many introverted residents. I will be wearing green and because dating within the hall is very common, and if everyone shows up in red, it won't be very much of a mixer for me ;-)

Either way, it should be fun to dress up and do something other than homework for the night!

Back to Life

After a long break from blogging, I've recently been inspired by some dear friends to revive my blog, and fill it with some of the wonderful things that I've done over the past few months.

Before I totally refresh this blog, here is an update on my life since October 2010:

• Fall semester finished up with a grand total of 7 final research papers, two final exams, and one massive presentation.
• I successfully survived my first semester living with a roommate since my stint as an RA !
• After a rough start to October with the deaths of a dear middle school teacher and my great uncle Jack, we (my family and I) pulled through the rest of the month to finish with a bang at our Batman-themed Halloween party.
• I met some wonderful new people at school over the course of the semester, and I am grateful for the blessing to have them in my life!
  
• As president of my residence hall, I oversaw some wonderful events including Floor Wars, Relaxation Week events, holiday food drives, and a visit to a local nursing home.
  
• I celebrated a wonderful holiday season with my family and friends, rejoicing in the birth of our Lord and the fellowship that the holidays bring!

I am thankful for the blessings of the past year, and I hope that 2011 will prove to be just as lovely!

Sometimes a hug is all you need.

Sometimes a hug is all you need. It doesn't necessarily solve your problems or make you feel better, but a hug is a sort of symbol.

Last week, I received the news that one of my teachers from the middle school years had committed suicide. It was a terrible incident that shook the whole community and disrupted the lives of so many in my small town. Being here at school, I was so far from the event itself that I had almost no reaction to the news. It haunted me so, that I called my parents to get more details that night after all my events for the day were done. The details were horrible, and after I had hung up the phone, I was numb. I still could not react, so I stood in the hallway outside my door until my friend Annie stopped to talk to me. She told me about something funny that had just happened to her, but I couldn't really listen. After she had finished her story, I told her everything that I had just learned, and what I thought, and how I didn't know what to do.

Then Annie hugged me, and I started to cry. That hug was exactly what I had needed to get me started. It was the kind of hug that let me know that God was watching out for me, and that it was alright to grieve. It didn't make the sadness less painful, or wash away the images flooding my mind, but it was a symbol of all-encompassing love. That no matter where I am or who I am with, God's loving hand will be there to support me.

School is Back in Session

It seems like ages ago that I last posted, and it really was, in the scheme of our fast-moving age of technology. Here is a brief recap of my wonderfully long (and blog-less) summer.

After leaving my position as an RA at the end of May, I moved back home for the summer to work as a camp counselor for my local recreation department. I worked through June at the local bakery (my fallback employment since Senior year of high school,) and helped my parents keep the house together as we anticipated my sister's graduation. Oh, the stress of two children in college. It had begun to wear on me before Claire had even received her diploma.

Aside from working at the bakery and keeping the family sane, I spent most of my time in the garden in June. Each day I would wake up, eat breakfast, dress, weed and tend the garden until about ten or eleven, then work on some project for the rest of the day until work. Within the first two weeks of being at home, I made a potting bench for the back yard, a tin lantern, a nesting box, and about fifteen candles.

As June wore down, Ethan prepared to leave for his summer math program at Hampshire College. We dropped him off on July Fourth, and immediately our family dynamics changed. It was strange not to have him around the house, eating all the cereal from the cabinets or playing Chopin on the piano, but we became used to it. Claire and I both started working the week after he left, but were briefly interrupted by a family reunion in Michigan. It was wonderful to travel this summer, as the previous summer found me away at sleep-away camp.

The Antrim Rec. Department turned out to be the perfect summer job for me, and I felt that I had made the right choice as soon as I started. I learned valuable lessons from almost every aspect of the experience, such as working with the kids, getting along with co-counselors, and balancing my home life with my work life.

Although most of my friends were working for the summer, I was able to spend a lot of time with a few of my dearest friends, which was more than I could have asked for. Barbara and I traveled to Maine with her parents and spent an unbelievable week on Eagle Island. Our adventures left me with an even deeper love and appreciation for her than ever before, and memories that will last me a lifetime.

Too soon, the summer drew to a close as camps ended, Ethan came home, and Claire began preparing for her great departure to Skidmore. I tried to take everything in stride because it was all happening so quickly, but the last night before leaving for school was still difficult. I wasn't sure I had made the right decision moving back to Hubbard and no longer being an RA. I was nervous that I wouldn't get along with my roommate, and that I would have a difficult adjustment to being back in school.

All my fears were proved wrong almost immediately. I feel so blessed to have been able to move in early, because I formed instant bonds of friendship to people I would have otherwise missed. My roommate is wonderful, and I feel as though we share bits and pieces of each others' soul. So much has happened in the past week, that I cannot even recount it, but I praise God for all that He has done for me. In the dark days that I experienced just months ago, I could never have imagined that He would bring me to this contentment in such a short period of time. He is so good to me!

Let it out

Today the world seems to be letting it all go.

Yesterday was a rough day, full of anticipation for finals, anxiety about friends, end-of-year frustration, and pent-up energy. To make it worse, the weather was grey, chilly, and ominous all day. I awoke today to the sound of heavy rain outside. It was almost as if the sky couldn't take the suspense, and let loose the torrents of water that have now soaked the campus. The suspense is over for me as well. I finished the last exam of my sophomore year, and now instead of studying or puttering around in my room as I have been doing the past few days, I am free to do whatever I like.

The small trickle of residents that I've been signing out of their rooms over the past week has turned into a stream of inventories, room checks, and goodbye hugs. Tomorrow the rest of my freshman (now sophomores,) will lock their rooms for the last time, and move out for the summer. My emotions are starting to get the better of me, as I've begun to realize that this is not just a break, and that the people I've seen every day for the past ten months will no longer be living with me. Come Saturday, I'll no longer be an RA, and by next week, I'll officially be free of school for the 2009-2010 year.

So much has happened in the past year, I can't even begin to comprehend it. The weeks slipped by too quickly, and for all my longing to be done with school, I know that I'll miss it as soon as I'm home. I've been trying to pray more often, and with my hyper-sensitivity about the end of the year, I'm finding a lot more to pray about.

My poor friend, Katie, was spending the last few days of school here, waiting to take her final on Thursday. We had been planning wonderful trips and adventures to get us through the week, but all of it was cut short when she got sick on Monday. I had been bringing her soup and other things throughout the week in hopes that she would get better and be able to have some fun before going home, but today I called from the dining hall to ask if she needed anything, and she told me she was in the hospital with what they thought was a "ruptured appendix". I've been praying for her health and recovery, but there is no way that she will be well enough to attend her exam and move out on time.

The end of the school year was always busy in high school, middle school, and elementary school, but I never expected it to be like that in college! I can only hope that this overwhelming flow of events and emotions slows down within the next few days and leads into a relaxing summer.