A Day Four Years in the Making

 

My friend Eva and I walked together at Commencement. Very appropriate because she was the first friend I made at UNH.

Gnarlz gives high-fives to Seniors as they begin to walk onto the field for the ceremony.

After the ceremony-- the graduate!

A Little Update

The past week has been a flurry of activity, emotion, and decision-making. So I guess it's time I update everyone what has been happening in my life.

1. My senior Honors thesis has been submitted for review. The next step is defending it against a committee. Considering I have worked on this process for nearly a year and a half, I'm not terribly concerned about the defense. If you are interested in reading my work to date, take a look at the site that I've created:  http://foresttofreshet.blogspot.com/
 

This is a Skymall image, but I like to think it was meant for me.

2. Tomorrow I will be inducted to Phi Beta Kappa, the oldest honor society in America. I was also inducted to Pi Delta Phi, the French honor society, on Tuesday.

3. Two weeks from tomorrow I will be graduating from college with a Bachelor of Arts degree in History! Yikes!

4. I have officially decided to attend George Washington University for my graduate program. However, I found out that if I defer from GWU for a year to work and live at home, I will be able to cut my potential loans in half. That's a difference of $40,000 in loans, folks. So, instead of rushing off to Washington, D.C. in June, I will be headed back to my hometown for a year to get myself on solid ground.

5. I've been very fragile lately, but with the help of my family, friends and mentors, I know that I can make it to the finish line. I've come so far in the past four years that even the biggest obstacles should seem small, but somehow I still get upset. I'm hurting in so many ways right now-- but I'm also rejoicing at the opportunities that are before me. Transitions and endings are difficult to say the least, but they are also a time of celebration and rebirth. It's up to me to keep focusing on the positive.

Adventuring

One of the best ways for me to internalize events, explore my thoughts, express my emotions, and spend some time with myself is to go adventuring.

When I was little, adventuring meant scrambling over rocks and between branches in the little patch of trees behind our garage. My dad called it the "Hundred Acre Wood" just like the forest in Winnie the Pooh. As I got older, adventuring became bike rides all over town, and hiking in the town forest with my friends. When I got to college, I found that adventuring was the perfect way to leave behind the stress of classes, homework, and social anxiety. I walked and biked miles of trails and roadways, discovering the most beautiful and tranquil places to sit and think.

I have experienced almost divine serenity in these places. Before I graduate, (in less than a month now) I feel that I must share with the world those wonderful spaces which helped me through my four years at school.

The Blessing of Opportunity

So it's a fact: I'm going to be a graduate student. Where will I be? I haven't a clue yet. But I have been officially accepted into three of the four programs to which I applied, including the Museum Education program at George Washington University. To be honest, I think that this program was always in the back of my mind when I imagined continuing my education. At the time, I didn't know how difficult it was to be accepted, but I later learned that although thousands of hopefuls apply, only fourteen are selected. I feel extremely blessed to have been given this opportunity--all these opportunities--no matter what decision I make in the coming weeks.

I once read that only 1% of the world's population is privileged enough to receive a secondary education. Although I wish the numbers were different and that everyone could further their education if they chose it, I recognize that I am one of those privileged few. To think that I am a woman pursuing a Master's degree is baffling when I compare my life with the lives of American women 100 years ago, or women in some societies even today! I am indeed very blessed.

(Also, I couldn't resist throwing in this picture of me wearing my rustic orange dress. I made it in January by altering a 1950's pattern, and I love how swingy it is when I dance. I believe credit for this picture goes to my dear friend Alexa.)

Spring is Here...and HOW!

Let it be known that today, March 22nd 2012, I spent an 85 degree day at the ocean. I dipped my feet in the frigid waters of the Atlantic, sat on the rocks, basked in the sun, collected trinkets at the beach, and gained a few dozen freckles. It was glorious.

The past week has been absolutely gorgeous-- and I don't mean that in the sense that I usually do at this time of year. Once upon a time, I considered 45 degrees and sunny to be the mildest March weather. In a traditional New Hampshire spring, a 45 degree day is rare, and one can generally count on a Nor'easter to sweep the region in the days following. But this week has been the warmest on record; five consecutive days of sun, blue skies, and temperatures above 75 degrees.

In many ways, I am taking the events of this week as a sign from the heavens. On Monday, I had a long talk with God. Since October, I have been an emotional wreck. I haven't allowed myself to be truly happy or appreciative of the blessings around me, and I've fallen away from the confidence and happiness that I have spent the past four years creating for myself.

Much of this emotional unrest has had to do with a relationship that I fell into at the beginning of the fall. In December, all that I had invested in this relationship-- my love, care, time, trust, expectations, physical and spiritual being, personal standards, happy moments, heartfelt discussions, and shared experiences-- was ripped away. I felt shipwrecked, trying to cling to one of these things to stay afloat as dark waves crashed over me. But collecting splintered wood will not help to restore the majesty of the ship.

As the weeks and months went on I tried to keep life in the relationship, even as friends. I am not the sort of person who will push people out of my life. I try as hard as I can to maintain contact and good feelings with others, and the months following our breakup were no different. My friends told me that I had every right to be angry at him--- he was the one who dumped me, after all-- but I still thought that kindness, interest, and friendly outreach would help us both to move on. After too many nights of frustrating conversations, lukewarm interactions, and angry tears, I asked God to show me what He wanted me to see in this situation.

Since my Monday conversation with God, I have been feeling lighter, clearer, and warmer. I have been able to let go of the feelings that have gripped my heart and soul for the past four months. It will take a long time before I can completely move on from this, but God has shown me what He wants me to focus on right now: my future.

The future can be so unclear sometimes. When you're young it looms ahead of you on the path of life, making every step toward it seem like a great burden. Sometimes it looks green and bright, like a beautiful spring day inviting you to run toward it and bask in its glory. Other times it can act like a fat black thundercloud threatening to block out the sun. The funny thing about it is that as long as you walk, and as many steps as you take, you never really get any closer. New experiences wait for you along the path, and sometimes you gather new friends as you walk along.

This week, God has revealed the future as a beautiful spring day. His reminders to me have been in the clear blue skies, the new green grass, the timid purple flowers, the cool and caressing breeze, and the warm sunshine on my skin. My future will be clear, bright, and happy.

February

Each time I transition to or from school, I seem to experience a significant lag between posts. Perhaps it is because I am so constantly busy at school during the first weeks of the semester, or perhaps it is because, as a history major, I write papers so often that the thought of composing anything else seems a chore. Whatever the case, I must continue to remember that I write this blog because I enjoy writing and recording the events of my life-- not because I am obligated to do so.

That being said, here is a brief update on the life of Maddie since I've been back to school:

1. I'm almost finished applying to graduate school programs at George Washington University, University of Delaware, Northeastern University, and Salem State University
2. I have simultaneously been applying to positions within the Residential Life departments of the aforementioned schools
3. UD is my top choice, although it's FAR from home (probably close to 8 hours by car)
   
4. I've jumped back into social life with a vigor-- I'm determined to make the most of my last semester as an undergraduate!
5. I've been working on organizing my Honors thesis so that I'll be able to graduate with High Honors, University Honors, Honors-In-Major, and be a part of the National History Honor Society
6. It's rather a lot of work. 40 pages to be written between the end of February and April!
7. I lost a lot of confidence and faith in myself and others at the end of last semester, and I know I've been holding onto anger, regret, and a sense of loss. But as long as I concentrate on positivity, a keeping an open mind, and the support of my friends and mentors, I will make it through
8. As always, I've been keeping myself busy organizing Hall Council events-- the first HubClub of the semester is this coming Thursday!

That's about all I can think of for now, but I'll be sure to check in again if I think of anything else.

Prayer for Cleansing and Pardon

Well, I'm back at school for my last semester as an undergraduate. It is really a bittersweet feeling-- and due to some unhappy circumstances at the end of last semester, I was very anxious about returning. For comfort, I had been working my way through the book of 2 Chronicles as well as the book of Psalms each night before bed. One night, not long ago, I prayed that God would give me the strength, courage, and grace to return to school and put things right. Then I opened my bible to this Psalm, Psalm 51:

"Have mercy on me, O God, according to your steadfast love; according to your steadfast mercy blot out my transgressions. Wash me thoroughly from my iniquity, and cleanse me from my sin. For I know my transgressions and my sin is ever before me. Against you, you alone, have I sinned, and done what is evil in your sight, so that you are justified in your sentence and blameless when you pass judgement. Indeed, I was born guilty, a sinner when my mother conceived me. You desire truth in the inward being; therefore teach me wisdom in my secret heart. Purge me with hyssop, and I shall be clean; wash me, and I shall be whiter than snow. Let me hear joy and gladness; let the bones that you have crushed rejoice. Hide your face from my sins, and blot out all my iniquities.
Create in me a clean heart, O God, and put a new and right spirit within me. Do not cast me away from your presence, do not take your holy spirit from me. Restore to me the joy of your salvation, and sustain in me a willing spirit. Then I will teach transgressors your ways, and sinners will return to you.
Deliver me from bloodshed, O God, O God of my salvation, and my tongue will sing aloud of your deliverance. O Lord, open my lips, and my mouth will declare your praise. For you have no delight in sacrifice; if I were to give you a burnt offering, you would not be pleased. The sacrifice acceptable to God is a broken spirit; a broken and contrite heart, O God, you will not despise. Do good to Zion in your good pleasure; rebuild the walls of Jerusalem, then you will delight in right sacrifices, in burnt offerings and whole burnt offerings; then bulls will be offered on your altar."

Because I had strayed far from Him in the dark times of the past few months, I was finally broken. And because I came to God with my fears, my praises, and my sadness, He comforted me with words and actions. Praise the Lord, for He is good, and His steadfast love endures forever!

Strike a Pose...for Recycled Fashion Night!

And so begins my Senior year. Have I mentioned lately that I love college?

Last Moments of Summer

Outside my window...the sun is brightly drying my freshly laundered clothes on the line.

I am thankful for ...the opportunity to have had an education and the guidance to complete it.

I am remembering ...previous summers and how nervous I was to go off to college!

On my mind ...getting packed and ready to leave for school tomorrow.

From the learning room ...1/4 cup of borax and a few gallons of hot water make an excellent and very effective pre-soak for dingy looking clothes.

From the kitchen ...tea now, and Cheezit chicken for dinner. Maybe with asparagus?

I am wearing ...denim cut-off capris, and my bandana patterned button-down shirt. Work clothes.

I am creating ...a compilation of all the things I want to take to school with me.

I am going ...to switch loads of laundry, and then upstairs to clean.

I am reading …"Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows" finally. I'm about 2/3 of the way through.

I am hoping ...that this year will prove to be a wonderful and successful last year at UNH.
I am hearing ... "When I Fall in Love" sung by Renee Olstead.

Around the house ...hair tonics for getting rid of blonde highlights, laundry soaks, piles of dorm essentials, and shoes are everywhere!

One of my favorite things ...sitting with my family and talking after dinner.
A few plans for the rest of the week ...moving in to my dorm for the last time tomorrow, then helping everyone else move in on Friday and Sunday.

Here is a picture thought I am sharing ...

Swing!

Last night we had a Spring Fling swing dance in the dorm. It was such a blast! Normally we have only a few girls and men who are all regular swing dancers, but this particular dance yielded quite a few new faces, as well as helped me to get to know others in a much more intimate way. I like to refer to the swing dancers of my generation as the "counterculture" of our school, and after seeing these pictures, I'm sure you'll see why!


The first is a photo of us playing "The Charleston Game", and the second is a silly picture that my dear friend Jason and I posed for to imitate the ladies modeling my dress on the pattern envelope. (Yes, this is the new swing dancing dress that I made with my new sewing machine over spring break!) My friends Jillian and Alexa also made their dresses from vintage patterns, so we were really playing up the retro look last night :-)

Music of My Soul

Over Winter Break, my momma, sister, and I took a brief trip to visit my uncle in New York. He lives about 15 minutes outside of the city and often has meetings at the Ralph Lauren offices downtown, so we take advantage of these opportunities to ride in with him. On this particular trip, Uncle dropped us off in the morning, and we took the commuter rail back home that night. During our visit we attended a Broadway show called "Memphis" which has lately become my absolute favorite musical! I am the sort of person that can listen to the same song for hours, and never become tired of it if I like it enough. Unfortunately for my family, I did just this for days and days at a time after seeing "Memphis".

I have such a deep passion and appreciation for music that I often wonder how in the world I would be able to live without it. Many of my friends have very limited taste in music, or no interest in it whatsoever. I attribute much of my love of music to the broad variety that my daddie exposed me to while I was growing up. My parents often tell me that my first full phrases were interpretations of Beatles songs ("I've got a Ticket to Ride," to be specific) and that by the time I was four, I had memorized the words to "Oklahoma", "Hair", "The Music Man", Billy Joel's earliest records, and many Joanie Mitchell songs. Looking back now, I am not sure that many of those lyrics were appropriate for a preschooler to be singing at the top of her lungs... but there it is. Music has been, and always will be a part of me. There is a song that I am reminded of when I think of my relationship to music. Here it is sung by Amanda Seyfried in the movie version of "Mamma Mia".

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rZnBI8j_6JI

On Monday night, I sang solo for an audience for the first time in about three years. I was a wreck, but it was exhilarating. I was accompanied by three very talented young men; all of whom I have become great friends with in the past year. It has been wonderful to have the opportunity to express myself the way that God intended me to, and I very much look forward to performing with them again.

Valentine Love

Here are some photos of this lovely Valentine's Day. The box is full of handmade and non-handmade Valentines for my dear friends at school. I always feel that something handmade or handwritten is much more personal than something bought at a store, so I made each Valentine as unique as the friend I gave it to.

Tonight in the dorm we are going to have what we call a "Stoplight Party." I'm excited because it has been a sort of running joke since my freshman year in Hall Council that we would host this "mixer" type of party, but at the same time I feel that it could be a little awkward. Each person attending the party must wear a certain color to reflect their relationship status. Wear green if you're single, red if you're in a relationship, or yellow if it's complicated. Stoplight colors, right? The only hitch is that my dorm is the honors designated residence hall, and we tend to have many introverted residents. I will be wearing green and because dating within the hall is very common, and if everyone shows up in red, it won't be very much of a mixer for me ;-)

Either way, it should be fun to dress up and do something other than homework for the night!

Back to Life

After a long break from blogging, I've recently been inspired by some dear friends to revive my blog, and fill it with some of the wonderful things that I've done over the past few months.

Before I totally refresh this blog, here is an update on my life since October 2010:

• Fall semester finished up with a grand total of 7 final research papers, two final exams, and one massive presentation.
• I successfully survived my first semester living with a roommate since my stint as an RA !
• After a rough start to October with the deaths of a dear middle school teacher and my great uncle Jack, we (my family and I) pulled through the rest of the month to finish with a bang at our Batman-themed Halloween party.
• I met some wonderful new people at school over the course of the semester, and I am grateful for the blessing to have them in my life!
  
• As president of my residence hall, I oversaw some wonderful events including Floor Wars, Relaxation Week events, holiday food drives, and a visit to a local nursing home.
  
• I celebrated a wonderful holiday season with my family and friends, rejoicing in the birth of our Lord and the fellowship that the holidays bring!

I am thankful for the blessings of the past year, and I hope that 2011 will prove to be just as lovely!

Sometimes a hug is all you need.

Sometimes a hug is all you need. It doesn't necessarily solve your problems or make you feel better, but a hug is a sort of symbol.

Last week, I received the news that one of my teachers from the middle school years had committed suicide. It was a terrible incident that shook the whole community and disrupted the lives of so many in my small town. Being here at school, I was so far from the event itself that I had almost no reaction to the news. It haunted me so, that I called my parents to get more details that night after all my events for the day were done. The details were horrible, and after I had hung up the phone, I was numb. I still could not react, so I stood in the hallway outside my door until my friend Annie stopped to talk to me. She told me about something funny that had just happened to her, but I couldn't really listen. After she had finished her story, I told her everything that I had just learned, and what I thought, and how I didn't know what to do.

Then Annie hugged me, and I started to cry. That hug was exactly what I had needed to get me started. It was the kind of hug that let me know that God was watching out for me, and that it was alright to grieve. It didn't make the sadness less painful, or wash away the images flooding my mind, but it was a symbol of all-encompassing love. That no matter where I am or who I am with, God's loving hand will be there to support me.

A reminder...

It feels so wonderful to be back at school, and back in the community that I love so dearly. It seems so ironic to me that despite my various commitments to my studies, clubs, student council, and sleep, I still manage to have more time for prayer, meditation, and church than I have had in months.

The church that I attend in Durham is home to a vibrant, active, well-established, and progressive congregation that I look forward to joining each week for worship. It reminds me of the church that I was raised in, before the pastor moved away and attendance fell. When I was little, I used to imagine raising my own children in the same church, but when my parents left the church, everything changed. My dad often says that he is sorry we did not have a church community growing up, but in truth, I still think of the Presbyterian church as my home. The wrinkled and soft faces kissing my cheek, the sweet (and sometimes tone deaf) voices joining together in praise, the haunting sound of the organ echoing from the vaulted Gothic ceiling, the smooth feel of the lacquered pews, and the taste of cookies and juice after each service are all vivid memories of my childhood.

When I set foot in church each Sunday that I'm at school, I feel those memories rushing back to me, and through the week I am filled with thoughts of God's love for me. How He always makes things come full circle. It's a wonderful feeling, and I'm so glad I have found a place that will help me cultivate that feeling.

School is Back in Session

It seems like ages ago that I last posted, and it really was, in the scheme of our fast-moving age of technology. Here is a brief recap of my wonderfully long (and blog-less) summer.

After leaving my position as an RA at the end of May, I moved back home for the summer to work as a camp counselor for my local recreation department. I worked through June at the local bakery (my fallback employment since Senior year of high school,) and helped my parents keep the house together as we anticipated my sister's graduation. Oh, the stress of two children in college. It had begun to wear on me before Claire had even received her diploma.

Aside from working at the bakery and keeping the family sane, I spent most of my time in the garden in June. Each day I would wake up, eat breakfast, dress, weed and tend the garden until about ten or eleven, then work on some project for the rest of the day until work. Within the first two weeks of being at home, I made a potting bench for the back yard, a tin lantern, a nesting box, and about fifteen candles.

As June wore down, Ethan prepared to leave for his summer math program at Hampshire College. We dropped him off on July Fourth, and immediately our family dynamics changed. It was strange not to have him around the house, eating all the cereal from the cabinets or playing Chopin on the piano, but we became used to it. Claire and I both started working the week after he left, but were briefly interrupted by a family reunion in Michigan. It was wonderful to travel this summer, as the previous summer found me away at sleep-away camp.

The Antrim Rec. Department turned out to be the perfect summer job for me, and I felt that I had made the right choice as soon as I started. I learned valuable lessons from almost every aspect of the experience, such as working with the kids, getting along with co-counselors, and balancing my home life with my work life.

Although most of my friends were working for the summer, I was able to spend a lot of time with a few of my dearest friends, which was more than I could have asked for. Barbara and I traveled to Maine with her parents and spent an unbelievable week on Eagle Island. Our adventures left me with an even deeper love and appreciation for her than ever before, and memories that will last me a lifetime.

Too soon, the summer drew to a close as camps ended, Ethan came home, and Claire began preparing for her great departure to Skidmore. I tried to take everything in stride because it was all happening so quickly, but the last night before leaving for school was still difficult. I wasn't sure I had made the right decision moving back to Hubbard and no longer being an RA. I was nervous that I wouldn't get along with my roommate, and that I would have a difficult adjustment to being back in school.

All my fears were proved wrong almost immediately. I feel so blessed to have been able to move in early, because I formed instant bonds of friendship to people I would have otherwise missed. My roommate is wonderful, and I feel as though we share bits and pieces of each others' soul. So much has happened in the past week, that I cannot even recount it, but I praise God for all that He has done for me. In the dark days that I experienced just months ago, I could never have imagined that He would bring me to this contentment in such a short period of time. He is so good to me!

Let it out

Today the world seems to be letting it all go.

Yesterday was a rough day, full of anticipation for finals, anxiety about friends, end-of-year frustration, and pent-up energy. To make it worse, the weather was grey, chilly, and ominous all day. I awoke today to the sound of heavy rain outside. It was almost as if the sky couldn't take the suspense, and let loose the torrents of water that have now soaked the campus. The suspense is over for me as well. I finished the last exam of my sophomore year, and now instead of studying or puttering around in my room as I have been doing the past few days, I am free to do whatever I like.

The small trickle of residents that I've been signing out of their rooms over the past week has turned into a stream of inventories, room checks, and goodbye hugs. Tomorrow the rest of my freshman (now sophomores,) will lock their rooms for the last time, and move out for the summer. My emotions are starting to get the better of me, as I've begun to realize that this is not just a break, and that the people I've seen every day for the past ten months will no longer be living with me. Come Saturday, I'll no longer be an RA, and by next week, I'll officially be free of school for the 2009-2010 year.

So much has happened in the past year, I can't even begin to comprehend it. The weeks slipped by too quickly, and for all my longing to be done with school, I know that I'll miss it as soon as I'm home. I've been trying to pray more often, and with my hyper-sensitivity about the end of the year, I'm finding a lot more to pray about.

My poor friend, Katie, was spending the last few days of school here, waiting to take her final on Thursday. We had been planning wonderful trips and adventures to get us through the week, but all of it was cut short when she got sick on Monday. I had been bringing her soup and other things throughout the week in hopes that she would get better and be able to have some fun before going home, but today I called from the dining hall to ask if she needed anything, and she told me she was in the hospital with what they thought was a "ruptured appendix". I've been praying for her health and recovery, but there is no way that she will be well enough to attend her exam and move out on time.

The end of the school year was always busy in high school, middle school, and elementary school, but I never expected it to be like that in college! I can only hope that this overwhelming flow of events and emotions slows down within the next few days and leads into a relaxing summer.

Wrapping it up

Gosh, this past month has been absolutely crazy. I've been writing papers, sending in scholarships, running events for the dorm, taking exams, reading books, having meetings, going on field trips...and the list goes on and on! Last night was the first night in weeks that I was able to sit and read my Bible before bed, a ritual that I have tried to carry on since the beginning of February as one of my goals for the semester. I have been reading along with a daily Bible study guide, and although it is very helpful in motivating me, I felt like a slacker when I realized that I am a month and a half behind on readings. Such is life as an RA.
It is strange to think that this lull I have been experiencing the past few days is not the normal mid-week sluggishness that has followed me throughout the year, but the beginning of hibernation before finals. My residents are locked away in their rooms studying and sleeping, only emerging between the hours of 8PM and 10PM to eat and socialize. Those who don't have looming final exams are mostly at home until next week, and so the hallways and lounges are eerily silent.

Looking back on the past semester, I realize how much I will miss being an RA next year. Sure, it'll be fun moving back to my old dorm, where my old friends are; but there is just something about hearing the pitter-patter of feet in the bathrooms, the giggling of girls from the room above me, the sound of slamming doors and crazy music drifting through the hallways, the special little notes left on my door, the quiet conversations whispered in my room, and the rowdy lounge gatherings at one in the morning. When dealing with an incident on a Thursday night, I would always think, "why did I ever agree to this job in the first place? Who would be crazy enough to want to work with these kids?". But then I would come back from midnight rounds to find twelve people in the lounge who were eager to find fellowship and friendship in each other, and I would think, "who wouldn't want to be an RA? To be able to witness friendships blossoming is certainly the greatest job in the world."

What a bittersweet experience it was. I can't count the nights that I wanted to cry with frustration after an unattended meeting or social, or the many times I did something special for someone with no acknowledgment or thanks. I thought that being an RA was a thankless job until Monday, when I had a knock on my door. One of my residents, Jess, was standing there with a card she had made. She and some others had knocked on every door in the building to get people to sign the card, and they had planned to present it to me at an end of the year celebration that I had missed on Saturday.

I was shocked that she had done this for me, and that everyone had signed the card, whether they had been around this semester or not. I didn't think they cared about how hard I worked this year, or how much of my life was put on hold for them. How can I ever tell them how much this simple act meant to me, and how much their time with me has changed my life? I don't know if I can ever do it in words or deeds, but I think deep down they know.

Contentment

Today things are looking up. For the past few days I've been battling a bit of a stomachache which I assume is caused by an imbalanced diet (oops.) I know it's terrible, but this year I have had a bad habit of replacing real meals with cereal or tea when I know the best thing for me is leafy greens and iron. Today I've done pretty well, with one out of two meals so far eaten in the dining hall, and a snack from the cafe in the afternoon.

The weather is beautiful and I tried laying outside to research for my term paper that is due in a few weeks, but I only managed to be on the lawn an hour. As I sit in my room, sipping my Mint Mocha Chill and looking out the window, the sun seems to be taunting me with its warmth. Of course, in New Hampshire, when the sun is warm it doesn't mean that everything else is! A little after 1 o'clock, I laid out my blanket, spread my books around me, and began to read. At first it was nice to feel the hot sun on my back and head, but the wind picked up and tried to blow the blanket out from under me. It was not a nice Spring breeze like you read about in romance novels, but a New Hampshire Spring breeze that comes from the glacial depths of the White Mountains or blows inland off the freezing Atlantic. I am not a particularly attentive person to reading, and as such was distracted nearly every time a petal fell from the tree above me, or whenever a helicopter went by during its training flight. When my hair began to blow into my face so that I could not have seen what I was reading even if I had wanted to concentrate, I decided that Mother Nature was not willing to share nice Spring weather with anyone else quite yet.

I dropped my books and blanket in my room and headed to the cafe to obtain a treat which had caught my eye the previous evening. Being a Thursday afternoon, and having finished classes, homework, and an attempt at researching, I came to the conclusion that this particular treat was warranted. Besides, it would help my uneasy stomach.

I've just finished the last bit of the Mocha Mint Chill, and my stomach does feel better. My friend and I are about to head out on an adventurous walk, which will fool us into thinking that we've done some exercise for the day, and afterward I assume I'll have dinner with friends and go to bed early for once. Yes, my life is fulfilled for the moment. I am content.

Procrastination and a Clean Room

One of my greatest talents is procrastination. I don't know how I developed it as my parents are both very driven individuals. In my case, procrastination can result in the accomplishment of almost everything but schoolwork. That is not to say that my schoolwork doesn't get done, but it is not completed over a planned and extended period of time. My best work is born from pressure. Ironically, so are my best prayers.

Today I don't have a lot of work, just reading for my class in two hours and for my class tomorrow morning. I might have been motivated to get it done earlier if I had not felt the need to clean my room and do my laundry for the first time since Spring Break. Also, it's raining, which I don't appreciate. But as soon as my laundry is done, I think I'll get to my homework.